Before we begin, we need to have some understanding of something. There is a purpose to everything. It is believed that, when the purpose of something is not established, abuse becomes inevitable. Just as we know that there is a purpose to life, which also means that you have a purpose on earth, likewise, there is a purpose to marriage. When we think of the question, What is the purpose of sex in marriage, we must look beyond the shifting sands of modern culture and turn our eyes toward God’s original intent/plan. In a world that often treats physical intimacy as a casual commodity or a source of shame, the Bible presents a different perspective. Scripture teaches us that sex is not an accident of nature or a mere biological urge; it is a divine invention designed by God to be a source of blessing, holiness, and profound connection. I have seen how a correct understanding of this topic can transform a marriage from a legal contract into a spiritual covenant.
To understand the purpose of sex in marriage, we must start with the premise that God is the author of pleasure and the architect of intimacy. In Genesis 1:31, after creating humanity as male and female, God declared His creation “very good.” This includes the physical capacity for intimacy. This article will explore the five primary reasons God established this union, providing a guide for those seeking to honor Him in their most private moments.
Unity: The Foundational Answer to “What Is The Purpose of Sex In Marriage?”
The most fundamental answer to the question: What is the purpose of sex in marriage? – is the achievement of “one flesh” unity. This concept is introduced in the very first book of the Bible. Genesis 2:24 states, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” This “cleaving” is not just an emotional bond; it is a physical and spiritual interlocking that creates a new entity.
In Hebrew, the term for “one flesh” is Basar Echad. This implies a level of unity that is indivisible. When a husband and wife engage in physical intimacy, they are performing a “covenant act.” In the ancient world, covenants were often sealed with a physical sign or a sacrifice. In the Christian marriage, the physical act of sex serves as the ongoing seal of the wedding Vows. It is the moment where two separate individuals lose their “separateness” and become a singular unit in the eyes of God.
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Understanding what is the purpose of sex in marriage requires recognizing that this oneness is a protective barrier. When a couple prioritizes their physical connection, they are reinforcing the “glue” that holds the relationship together during trials. This oneness is also echoed by Jesus in Matthew 19:6, where He reminds us, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” The physical union is a testament to the fact that God has joined two people into one life.
Furthermore, this oneness facilitates a deep level of “knowing.” The Bible often uses the word “knew” to describe sexual relations (e.g., “Adam knew Eve his wife”). This suggests that the purpose of sex is to reach a depth of personal revelation that cannot be achieved through conversation alone. It is a total vulnerability where nothing is hidden, reflecting the transparency God desires with His people.
Procreation: A Mandate for the Christian Marriage
While the emotional and spiritual bond is vital, we cannot ignore the biological reality when asking – what is the purpose of sex in marriage? One of the primary reasons God designed the sexual reproductive system was for the continuation of the human race and the expansion of His kingdom. In Genesis 1:28, the first command given to humanity was to “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.”
Procreation is more than just having children; it is about stewardship and legacy. From a Biblical standpoint, children are described as a “heritage of the Lord” and a “reward” (Psalm 127:3). When a couple engages in intimacy with an openness to life, they are participating in God’s ongoing creative work. They are bringing into existence new image–bearers who have the potential to love God and serve others.
In the context of the Great Commission, the purpose of sex in marriage also takes on a missional tone. By raising children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), Christian parents are fulfilling the mandate to make disciples, starting within their own homes. This biological function of marriage ensures that the faith is passed down from one generation to the next.
However, it is important to note that while procreation is a primary purpose, it is not the only purpose. The Bible does not suggest that sex is only “legal” when children are the intended result. Instead, it presents procreation as one of the many blessings that flow from the marital bed. By understanding what is the purpose of sex in marriage, couples can appreciate their role as co – creators with God, honoring the miracle of life that can result from their union.
Pleasure and Joy: Understanding What Is The Purpose of Sex In Marriage Beyond Biology
A common misconception in some religious circles is that sex is a “necessary evil” solely for making babies. This is biblically inaccurate. If you want to know the purpose of sex in marriage, you must look at the Book of Song of Solomon. This book is a poetic, inspired celebration of the physical and emotional delight found between a husband and wife.
The Bible explicitly encourages couples to find joy and intoxication in each other’s bodies. Proverbs 5:18 – 19 says, “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth… let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” The word “ravished” here suggests a state of intense delight and fascination. God designed the human body with the capacity for pleasure because He is a generous Father who delights in the happiness of His children within the safety of the marriage covenant.
Pleasure serves a vital role in the health of a marriage. It acts as a stress reliever and a source of mutual encouragement. When a husband and wife prioritize each other’s satisfaction, they are practicing self–sacrificial love. They are putting the needs and desires of their spouse above their own, which is a core Christian principle.
In asking – what is the purpose of sex in marriage? – we see that pleasure is the “sweetness” that makes the hard work of marriage more endurable. It builds a history of shared joy and positive memories. This delight is intended to be exclusive. The “garden” described in Song of Solomon is a “garden enclosed,” signifying that while the pleasure is intense, it is strictly reserved for the husband and wife. This exclusivity makes the pleasure even more meaningful, as it is a gift that no one else in the world receives from them.
Sanctification: How Marital Relations Protect Against Temptation
Another practical answer to – what is the purpose of sex in marriage? – is the protection of the couple’s moral integrity. We live in a world filled with sexual temptation and “porneia” (sexual immorality). God, in His wisdom, provided the marriage bed as a safe and holy outlet for sexual desire.
The Apostle Paul addresses this directly in 1 Corinthians 7:2 – 5. He writes, “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” Paul explains that a regular, healthy sex life is a defense mechanism against the schemes of the enemy. When a couple neglects this area of their relationship, they may inadvertently leave a door open for “incontinence” or lack of self – control.
The Bible goes as far as to describe this as a “marital duty.” 1 Corinthians 7:3 says, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” This is not about one spouse demanding their rights, but about both spouses being sensitive to the needs of the other. It is an act of service. By fulfilling each other’s physical needs, the couple helps each other remain “unspotted from the world.”
Furthermore, Hebrews 13:4 tells us, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” This verse confirms that sex within marriage is pure and holy. It is the “safe harbor” where sexual energy can be expressed without guilt. When we ask what is the purpose of sex in marriage, we must recognize its role in our sanctification – the process of becoming more like Christ by fleeing from sin and honoring our commitments.
The Spiritual Mystery: What Is The Purpose of Sex In Marriage as a Divine Shadow?
The most profound theological answer to – what is the purpose of sex in marriage? – is found in the book of Ephesians. Paul explains that the union between a husband and wife is actually a “great mystery” that points to something even larger: the relationship between Christ and His Church.
Ephesians 5:31 – 32 states, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” In this light, marital sex is a physical “parable” or shadow of a spiritual reality.
How does this work? Just as sex involves a total giving of oneself, Christ gave Himself totally for the Church. Just as sex is a moment of intense intimacy and “knowing,” God desires a deep, intimate, and personal relationship with every believer. The joy, the oneness, and the covenantal faithfulness found in the marriage bed are meant to give us a small, earthly taste of the eternal joy and union we will experience with God in heaven.
When we understand the purpose of sex in marriage from this perspective, the act becomes an act of worship. It is no longer just about physical sensation; it is about reflecting the character of God. It is about showing a watching world what “agape” (unconditional) love looks like when it is expressed in a “one flesh” bond. This elevates the purpose of sex from a biological function to a high spiritual calling.
Conclusion: Honoring the Creator Through Intimacy
In summary, when we ask – What is the purpose of sex in marriage? We find that God has provided a multi–faceted gift. It is for oneness, sealing the covenant between husband and wife. It is for procreation, allowing us to participate in the miracle of life. It is for pleasure, providing a source of joy and mutual delight. It is for protection, guarding our hearts against the temptations of the world. And ultimately, it is a divine metaphor, illustrating the sacrificial and intimate love that Jesus Christ has for His Church.
By aligning our marital lives with these Biblical truths, we do more than just improve our relationships; we bring glory to the Creator who designed us for connection. Let your marriage bed be a place of prayer, joy, and profound unity, reflecting the light of the Gospel in every aspect of your life together.
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Frequently Asked Questions About the Purpose of Sex in Marriage
Does the Bible allow sex for pleasure only?
Yes, it does. While procreation is a significant purpose, it is not the only one. The Song of Solomon is an entire book of the Bible dedicated to the celebration of marital love, desire, and pleasure, often without any mention of children. Additionally, 1 Corinthians 7 encourages regular intimacy for the sake of companionship and the avoidance of temptation, regardless of the couple’s ability or desire to conceive at that moment.
What does “the marriage bed is undefiled” mean (Hebrews 13:4)?
This phrase means that sexual activity between a husband and wife is inherently clean, holy, and free from the stain of sin. Unlike “fornication” or “adultery,” which are outside of God’s will, the physical union of a married couple is honored by God. It encourages couples to explore intimacy with freedom and joy, knowing that their union is blessed and “undefiled.”
Is it a sin to withhold intimacy from my spouse?
The Bible cautions against withholding sex in 1 Corinthians 7:5, stating, “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” Except for short periods of spiritual focus and mutual agreement, regular intimacy is a biblical expectation to maintain the health and safety of the marriage.
Is “What is the purpose of sex in marriage” different for modern Christians?
The cultural context around us changes, but the Word of God is eternal. The biological, emotional, and spiritual purposes of sex in marriage established in Genesis and the Epistles remain the same today. While modern technology or society may offer different views on “sexual freedom,” the Christian finds true freedom and purpose by adhering to God’s timeless design for oneness and holiness.
