A few years back, a good friend let me down big time. He borrowed money and never paid it back, leaving me angry for months. I couldn’t sleep right, and it affected my family too. Then I started digging into the Bible every day, especially Matthew 6:14-15. Jesus says there, “If you forgive others, your Father in heaven will forgive you. But if you don’t forgive, he won’t forgive you either.” That hit me hard. I realized holding on was blocking my own peace with God.
I’ve been through this kind of thing more than once, from family fights to work issues. What worked for me was simple steps from Scripture. In this post, I’ll share exactly how to forgive and let go, using Bible verses about forgiveness like Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13. We’ll look at what the Bible says about forgiveness, seven steps I used myself, stories from the Bible, a prayer that helped me.
What is Forgiveness?
According to the bible, forgiveness means the debt someone owes you for hurting you. It’s not pretending the wrong didn’t happen or letting them off easy. It’s you choosing to release them from payback, just like God releases us from our sins against Him. Ephesians 4:32 spells it out: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” God doesn’t make us pay for every mistake; He paid it all on the cross. That’s our model.
I learned this the hard way after that friend skipped out on repaying me. I wanted justice – my money back plus interest. But holding that debt in my heart kept me chained. Biblical forgiveness broke the chain. It’s a decision from your will, not a feeling that has to come first. Colossians 3:13 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” He didn’t wait for us to get perfect; He forgave while we were still sinners.
Think of it like this: someone steals from you. Forgiveness hands the case to God as Judge. You stop being the collector. In our Bible study group, one guy forgave his cheating business partner this way. No lawsuit, just release. His health improved, and God opened new doors. Forgiveness frees you first. It’s daily work sometimes, but the Holy Spirit helps when you ask. That’s what it is – simple release, God’s way.
Why Biblical Forgiveness Sets Us Free
Forgiveness is not about saying the wrong never happened. It’s about releasing the person from what they owe you, just like God does for us. Colossians 3:13 says it clearly: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
I saw this work in my life after that friend betrayed me. The anger kept me up at night and made me short-tempered with my wife. When I let go, peace of mind came back, and I felt light again. Scripture shows us four direct benefits.
| Benefit | Bible Verse |
| No more bitterness | Ephesians 4:31-32 |
| Real peace inside | Philippians 4:7 |
| Wounds start healing | Psalm 103:12 |
| Better relationships | Luke 6:37 |
These verses changed how I live. God built it this way: we forgive to get free ourselves. Try it, and you’ll see.
Top 12 Bible Verses About Forgiveness and Letting Go
These verses have been my go-to when I needed to forgive. I read them daily during tough times, and they shaped my heart. Here they are with what they mean to me.
- Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” This one reminds me that God’s forgiveness is my example. I say it out loud when anger rises.
- Matthew 6:14-15 – “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” No way around it – my forgiveness depends on forgiving others.
- Colossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Grievances happen; forgive anyway, as Jesus did for us.
- Psalm 103:12 – “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” God throws our sins away completely. That’s how far I need to let go.
- Matthew 18:21-22 – Peter asked Jesus how many times to forgive – seven? Jesus said seventy-seven times. No counting. I keep forgiving repeated hurts this way.
- Luke 23:34 – Jesus on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Even in the worst pain, He forgave. That humbles me every time.
- Mark 11:25 – “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Check your heart before prayer.
- Romans 12:14 – “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” I pray blessings over people who hurt me now. It changes everything.
- Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Forgive, but protect yourself too.
- Luke 6:37 – “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” What you give comes back.
- Philippians 4:7 – “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This peace hits after you let go.
- Micah 7:19 – “You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” God buries sins deep. Do the same with grudges.
Pick one verse today and repeat it. It sticks with you.
7 Practical Steps on How To Forgive And Let Go
I’ve walked through these steps myself, starting with that friend who betrayed me. They come straight from Scripture and work if you do them one by one. Take your time with each.
1. Admit the Hurt
Ephesians 4:31 tells us to “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” I wrote down exactly how that betrayal made me feel – mad, disrespected, and broken—no hiding it from God or myself. Admit it fully, then move on.
2. Pray for Strength
Mark 11:25 says, “When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so your Father in heaven may forgive you.” I knelt and prayed every morning, “God, I can’t do this alone. Give me Your strength.” Strength came after a few days.
3. Recall God’s Forgiveness
Colossians 3:13 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” I listed my own sins God forgave through Jesus – pride, lies, anger. If He forgives all that, I can forgive this. Sit quiet and remember the cross.
4. Choose Mercy Daily
Matthew 18:21-22: Jesus said forgive seventy-seven times. I chose to forgive that day, even if anger returned. Set a reminder on your phone to choose mercy again tomorrow.
5. Bless, Don’t Curse
Romans 12:14: “Bless those who persecute you; do not curse.” I prayed, “God, bless them with Your peace.” Didn’t feel it at first, but it stopped the hate in my heart.
6. Guard Your Heart
Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart.” I forgave but didn’t lend money again. Forgiveness doesn’t mean no boundaries. Protect your peace.
7. Walk in Freedom
Psalm 103:12: God removes sins “as far as the east is from the west.” Thank Him out loud daily. I took walks praising God, and freedom settled in. You’re free now – live like it.
4 Myths on Biblical Forgiveness
People get forgiveness wrong all the time, and I did too until Scripture set me straight. Here are four common myths I hear in Bible studies, with the truth from God’s Word.
- Forgiveness means you forget everything.
No. God remembers our sins but chooses mercy. Micah 7:19 says He treads them underfoot and throws them in the sea. I still recall hurts, but I don’t let them control me. - You have to reconcile right away.
Forgiveness frees you; reconciliation takes time and trust. The prodigal son’s brother didn’t reconcile instantly, but the father forgave fast. - You must feel like forgiving first.
Feelings come later. Matthew 18:21-22 shows forgiveness is a choice Jesus commands, not an emotion. I chose it daily until peace followed. - Bitterness goes away on its own.
It doesn’t. Ephesians 4:31-32 says get rid of it actively. I replaced angry thoughts with prayer, and it worked.
Prayer for Forgiveness and Release
Here’s the prayer I prayed when I was stuck on that betrayal. Say it out loud, morning and night, till it sinks in. Make it your own by adding the person’s name.
“God, you see this hurt I’ve been carrying from [mention their name]. It’s real, and it’s heavy. I admit it to you now. Help me forgive them as you forgave me through Jesus (Ephesians 4:32). Take this bitterness far away, as far as east from west (Psalm 103:12). Give me strength to bless them, not curse (Romans 12:14). Guard my heart with your peace (Philippians 4:7). I choose to let go today. Thank you for freedom. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
This prayer broke the anger for me after a week. It will for you too. Write it down, keep it close.
Bible Stories of Forgiveness
The Bible is full of real people who forgave when it hurt most. These stories pushed me to forgive my friend. Let’s look at three.
Joseph and His Brothers (Genesis 50:20)
Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery out of jealousy. Years later, when they needed food, he had power over them. Instead of revenge, he said, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” He hugged them and provided. That showed me God can use pain for good if I let go.
Prodigal Son’s Father (Luke 15)
The younger son took his inheritance early, wasted it on wild living, and came home broke. The father saw him from far off, ran to him, hugged him, and threw a party. No lecture, just open arms. This father pictures God waiting for us. It teaches me to welcome back without holding the past over someone.
Stephen (Acts 7:60)
Stephen got stoned to death for preaching about Jesus. As rocks hit him, he prayed, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” Like Jesus on the cross, he forgave killers in the moment. That level of forgiveness came from God’s Spirit in him. It challenges me to forgive fresh wounds, not just old ones.
I read these stories during my struggle, and they made forgiveness feel possible. God gives that same power today.
Conclusion
There you have it – the verses, steps, prayer, and stories that showed me how to forgive and let go. I started with anger over that unpaid debt, but applying these changed me. Peace came, my marriage got better, and I slept soundly again. God’s way is simple and sure. Don’t wait. Pick one step today, like admitting the hurt or praying that prayer. Freedom starts now. You’ve got this because God’s with you.
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Frequently Asked Questions on Biblical Forgiveness
What does the Bible specifically teach about the connection between forgiving others and receiving God’s forgiveness?
Jesus makes it direct in Matthew 6:14-15: “If you forgive others their sins, your Father will forgive you. But if you don’t, he won’t forgive yours.” This links our daily forgiveness to God’s mercy on us. In my Bible studies, I’ve seen people pray for hours but stay stuck because they held grudges. The fix is simple: forgive to open the door for God’s full pardon. It keeps our relationship with Him clear.
How many times does Scripture say we must forgive someone who keeps hurting us?
Matthew 18:21-22 answers this. Peter thought seven times was enough, but Jesus said “seventy-seven times” – meaning no limit. I had a family member repeat the same offense for years. Each time, I chose forgiveness fresh, using that verse as my guide. It wasn’t easy, but it stopped the cycle of resentment in me. The point is unlimited mercy, just like God’s for us.
Does biblical forgiveness require full reconciliation, especially in dangerous situations?
No, forgiveness and reconciliation are separate. Forgiveness releases your heart from debt; reconciliation rebuilds trust over time. Proverbs 4:23 says guard your heart. After my friend betrayed me, I forgave but didn’t do business with him again. If someone’s abusive, forgive inwardly but get distance or help. God doesn’t ask us to stay in harm’s way.
Why is it so hard to forgive deep hurts, and what does the Bible say to overcome that?
Deep hurts feel impossible because our flesh fights it, but God’s Spirit gives power.
Mark 11:25 ties forgiveness to prayer: forgive so God hears you. I struggled with rage until I prayed daily for strength, recalling Christ’s cross. Philippians 4:7 promises peace beyond understanding follows. Start small – admit the pain, pray, repeat. Feelings change after obedience.
Can you truly forgive someone without their apology, according to the Bible?
Yes, Jesus did it first. On the cross, He said in Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” – no apology from the crowd. I forgave that unpaid debt before my friend ever said sorry. It freed me first. Apologies help rebuild, but they’re not required for your release. God forgives us unasked too.
How does unforgiveness affect your spiritual life and health, based on Scripture?
Hebrews 12:15 warns a bitter root grows trouble for everyone. I felt it – unforgiveness stole my joy, sleep, and prayers. Ephesians 4:31 lists bitterness and rage as things to ditch. Physically, it stresses the body; spiritually, it blocks intimacy with God. Letting go brings Philippians 4:7 peace. I’ve lived both sides – choose freedom.
What role does prayer play in the process of learning how to forgive and let go?
Prayer is the engine. Mark 11:25 says check your heart before praying. My prayer was raw: “God, I can’t forgive alone – help.” Romans 12:14 directs us to bless offenders in prayer. It shifts focus from hurt to God’s power. Pray the one I shared daily; it rewired my thoughts. Prayer invites God into the mess.
